Right now I’m at a standstill. I don’t know what to think of my life. Sometimes it’s good and other times it’s bad. It’s the little things that turn into big things. My life was different before… My mom was my best friend. We talked a lot about almost everything. Everyone told us we were twins because we looked just alike. Me personally, I never saw it. That is something I miss hearing though.
We had a lot of fun together. I still remember all the times we use to laugh about silly things, like when we use to make stupid faces in the mirror. We did a lot together and she was always there for me. When I think back most of the things I learned in life are because of her. I’m thankful for all of it, even the things I didn’t understand at the time. Lately life has been feeling more bad than good. It seems like I’m always arguing with my grandma and it’s always over pointless stuff. Every day I ask why is this happening to me? Why do I have to go through this? It makes me think about some of the things I have done and the things I should have done. I just don’t know how to deal with everything going on.
Hopefully with time, I can figure out how to better myself so I can handle the situations that I’m in. I have had many talks with people who wanted to give me advice on how to stay strong. Some people say I should have taken the loss of my mother way harder than I did, but they don’t know all the thoughts racing through my head. They don’t know how messed up my emotions are right now. Most of the time I feel like the people closest to me don’t even know. Especially my family!!!!
My mom would have encouraged me to go to college. We both knew how important college was to succeed. She liked my decision to major in business. That is still my plan.
To be continued…